Коты — друзья человека!

Ancient Egyptian family members shaved their eyebrows in mourning when the family cat died.

Unlike central retinal degeneration (CRD) in cats, feline dilated cardiomyopathy is reversible with supplementation.

Some cats have been documented to have a longevity of 34 years.

Cats must try to taste the gerbils when Mom is holding one.

A cat can jump 5 times as high as it is tall.

Cats are just little bundles of purr.

Always use the litter box while hooman is cleaning it.

Catnap — Sleeping for a short period of time

The lack of a functioning collarbone allows the cat to fit through any opening the size of their head.

Taglines are like cats. You just think they’re yours.

That would be about as easy as teaching cats to march.

Cats greet you when coming home with a cheerful meow and a quick brush against the legs; dogs pounce on you and knock you over.

Cats must topple the spice rack going for the catnip.

Cats need to be petted *every* time the cat eats.

What kind of mood is kitty in?  Her eyes, whiskers and ears will tell you.  Learn to read the signs she gives you.

A cat may look at a King.

A cats ear pivots 180 degrees. They have 30 muscles in each ear, and use twelve or more muscles to control their ear movement.

Politically Correct: The cat is not a dope addict; she is catnip appreciative.

The oldest cat on record was Puss, from England, who died in 1939 just one day after her 36th birthday.

Cat Philosophy — Own nothing and be owned by no one.

Cats must put their paw into the boiling water to snag a cooking shrimp.

When Mother Nature saw fit to remove the tail of the Manx, she left, in place of the tail, more cat. — Mary E. Stewart

Dogs come when called …. Cats have answering machines

Cats are more aggressive when they are not neutered or spayed.

Cat Phrase: Mrrrrrrrrrrroooooooww — Hold me, I am tired

How we behave toward cats here below determines our status in heaven. — Robert A. Heinlein

Kittens are weaned at between six and seven weeks, and cats normally reach sexual maturity at 5–10 months (females)

Cat Self-Disipline: Jog in your sleep ……

A cats hearing is much more sensitive than hoomans and dogs.

Cats can catch snowflakes through a closed window if they try hard enough.

Cats know Mom’s black suede gloves are giant tarantulas that need to be killed.

You just may be a #catnut if: you smile when the cat licks the butter

What do you get if you cross a cat with a parrot? A carrot.

Cats must drink the bathwater while their hooman is taking a bath.

Cats must drag Mom’s knitting around the house, unravelling it in the process.

Cats are good lapwarmers for modemers.

The cat’s clavicle, or collarbone, does not connect with other bones but is buried in the muscles of the shoulder region.

A cats purr is sound of it generating mystery and enigma

Cats adopt hoomans into their social group, and share a kill with others in the group according to the local pecking order, hoomans at top.

Cat Self-Disipline: Whatever happens, look as if it were intended …..

Cats must groom Daddy at 2 am.

Cats aren’t threatened by a woman with short hair, or a man with long hair.

Give your cat fresh water at least once a day

You just may be a #catnut if: Your arm goes to sleep because you don’t want to disturb the cat.

Cats don’t need to wear the latest designer fashions.

As alert as a mouse at a cat show.

What do you get if you cross a cat with a canary? Shredded tweet.

Anything not nailed down is a cat toy.

If your cat looks like an alien from a movie and his eyes are sparkling with the same unbelievable light – then your cat is a Sphynx.

If you can’t feel your cats ribs, she’s too heavy.

CAT (n): A walking ego with fur.

The cat that ate the ball of yarn….had mittens.

Dogs believe they are hooman. Cats believe they are God

A cat has more bones than a hooman; hoomans have 206, but the cat has 230.

The Sphynx cat generally have wedge-shaped heads and sturdy, heavy bodies. Many cats of this breed develop pot bellies.

Cats must drag the apple peels out of the garbage to play with them.

Cats sit on your lap when you’re sad or feeling sick.  Dogs still expect to be taken out and fed regularly even if you’re on your deathbed.

Cats seldom interfere with other people’s rights.

Cats must raid the ashtray for used pipe cleaners.

There ain’t room to cuss a cat here w/out gettin’ fur in your mouth.

purrrrpetmeorIscratchyoureyesoutpurrrr — common feline term

You just may be a #catnut if: You snap your fingers and pat the sofa beside you to invite your guests to sit down.

Cat Self-Disipline: Knead people ……

Cats don’t brag about whom they have slept with.

Never ever give Tylenol to a cat.

Many cat bites will become infected, sometimes with serious consequences such as cat-scratch fever (disease), or, more rarely, rabies.

Nothing the cats do surprises me anymore.

It’s raining cats and dogs — It’s raining very hard

When your Cat rubs up against you, she is actually marking you as hers with her scent.

You just may be a #catnut if: You accidentally put your child’s dinner plate on the floor.

Catskill Mountains: The land of dead mice.

What do you call a cat that sucks on lemons? A sour puss.

Cats rid the house of pesky insects and mice. Now if only they could get rid of pesky children.

When a cat has more than 18 toes, it’s called a polydactyl.

The height required to right themselves in most cats (safely) is around 90 cm (3 feet).

Cat Note2self: No matter how dangly and attractive they are, my hooman’s earrings are not cat toys.

CATFOOD??..?? You woke me up for a lousy can of CATFOOD??.

At 5-7 weeks the mother starts to change her behavior towards kittens, such as stop licking the kittens rear-end to stimulate elimination.

The cat has too much spirit to have no heart.

What do cats use to make coffee? A purrcolator.

Cat: Furry keyboard cover.

Cats must attack another cat when their head is sticking out of the litter box.

Cats must help Mom with the jigsaw puzzles.

Cats must stick their paw into mom’s mouth while she’s sleeping.

Cats CAN eat a variety of different kinds of cat food.

Toilet paper exists for cats to make shredded toilet paper with.

Cats are the soul of honesty — they hide not their dislikes.

Cats must jump on mom’s lap immediately prior to the commercial breaks.

Cats must remove mom’s stuffed bear from her dresser and kill it EVERY SINGLE DAY.

Cat Note2self: The large dog in the back yard has lived there for six years. I will not freak out every time I see it.

There are approximately 60,000 hairs per square inch on the back of a cat and about 120,000 per square inch on its underside.

Hmmmmm … When will dogs learn who is the house favorite …

The pillow on the bed belongs to the cat.

Cats must drool in their sleeping hooman’s ear.

Kittens are born with both eyes and ears closed and blue at first. They change color over a period of months to the final eye color.

If a strange scent or stranger appears nearby a kitten will give a defensive hiss which also alerts their mother of a possible threat.

Cats don’t care whether you’re a conservative or a liberal.

It may take as long as 2 weeks for a kitten to be able to hear well.

A cat stretches from one end of my childhood to the other.

An exaggerated fear of cats is known as ailurophobia.

You can tell a cat’s mood by looking into its eyes. A frightened or excited cat will have large, round pupils.

Cat Philosophy — Climb your way to the top, that’s why the curtains are there.

The Sphynx cat theme song is show me the heat.

A cat does not need to have at least 1 litter to be healthy, nor will they miss motherhood.

Cat Philosophy — To Be or NOT to …. ehhh, phhhffft — you already KNOW I am.

Cats do the most amazing things.

Cats must put their head in their hooman’s mouth while he is trying to eat.

Cats do not care whether you shave your legs.

Stray Cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed under the covers unless we’re cold.

Cats always: Are far superior.

A tabby named Dusty gave birth to 420 documented kittens in her lifetime.

A cat would check to see if you brought anything to eat, and if not, would turn and walk away, tail held high. — Mike Deupree

What is white, sugary, has whiskers and floats on the sea? A catameringue.

What does a sour puss eat? Crab meat.

Cat Phrase: Roww-maww-rowwww — Means: I will now rub myself against your legs and attempt to trip you as you walk towards the kitchen.

Cats must use car windshields as slides when cats have muddy feet.

Cats are room-mates. Dogs are kids.

Cat Phrase: rrrow-mawww — Means: Please, the time is come to tidy the cat box.

Cats groom themselves by licking their fur, employing papillae and saliva.

The average cat weighs 12 pounds.

A cats normal body temperature is 101.5 degrees.  This is slightly warmer than a hoomans.

Toilet paper exists for cats to make confetti with.

I am NOT a cat. I am — An animal that proves eating and sleeping is not ALL bad

Taglines are like cats, you only think you own them.

It works better if you plug it in — unless it’s the cat.

Why are Cats longer in the evening than they are in the morning? Because they’re let out in the evening and taken in in the morning.

I am NOT a cat. I am — Murphy’s way of saying Nice Furniture.

The Sphynx cat lays on laptops, computers, radio receivers or tvs, heat registers, fax machine, or printer, etc.

Furball — a game cats like to play on the floor

Cats were domesticated early in hooman history, with ancient Cyprus appearing to be the earliest known location of this process.

Cats must need to use ALL the kitty litter to bury their poop.

Why did the cat put the letter M into the fridge? Because it turns ice into mice.

Catlap — Usually weak tea or milk; something fit only for cats to drink

Cats don’t kill their prey with their claws, the claws are used to hold onto the prey and the teeth are used actually to kill the prey.

Sir Isaac Newton invented the cat-flap door.

Attempts have been made to breed cats that are less likely to provoke an allergic reaction in hoomans.

What sport do cats play? Hairball.

Due to a mutation in an early cat ancestor, one of two genes necessary to taste sweetness may have been lost by the cat family.

If your friends/family come over to visit and say oh my god, is that a cat or dog? or ooooh thats soooo ugly — then your cats a sphynx.

Cats knead with their paws when they’re happy.

Cats can get tapeworms from eating fleas. These worms live inside the cat forever, or until they are removed with medication.

Did someone say TUNA?

Cats must terrorize their older and less active feline roommate. His tail is a toy.

Dogs will play fetch with you all day long. The only thing Cats will play with all day long are small rodents or bugs.

A cat is always on the wrong side of the door.

The great open spaces where cats are cats. — Marquis

Cats are subject to gum disease and to dental caries. They should have their teeth cleaned by the vet or the cat dentist once a year.

Cats don’t sweat. (except sphynx) Have you ever been in the same room as children who’ve been out playing in the sun? Ugh.

Cats don’t care about the interest rate.

The temperament of a cat can vary depending on the breed and socialization.

Cat: Companion in grace, beauty, mystery, and curiousity.

cats cradle — A string game played by children

Cats must turn over every glass just to watch the liquid pool.

How many cats can you put into an empty box? Only one. After that, the box isn’t empty.

A cat is a terrible thing to waste … Drive safely.

The other cat’s food is automatically preferable to their own.

Cats rule and dogs drool. — Sassy

Cats don’t need to go to school. No tuition fees, no PTA meetings, no phone calls from the school principal about getting in trouble, etc.

Cats are born cute. Most newborn babies look like they could star in a horror flick.

The tail is a particularly important social signal in cats, with a raised tail acting as a friendly greeting.

You just may be a #catnut if: You have take out a loan to be able to afford cat litter.

A cat cannot see directly under its nose. This is why the cat cannot seem to find tidbits on the floor.

Cats are independent, by which I mean smart. — D. Barry

What do you get if you cross a cat with Father Christmas? Santa Claws.

While caution is called for, there are no documented cases of feline eye damage from a laser pointer.

Politically Correct: The cat is not evil; she is badness enhanced.

Some people say that cats are sneaky, evil and cruel. True, and they have other fine qualities as well.

Why was the cat so small? Because it only drank condensed milk.

In what kind of weather is a vet the busiest? When it’s raining cats and dogs.

What did the freshman computer science major say when he was told that the work stations had mice? Don’t you have a cat?

Cats must climb the wallpaper in their hooman’s new house.

The fumes from moth balls can destroy a cat’s liver cells. Use cedar in your closets instead.

Why did the judge dismiss the entire jury made up of cats? Because each of them was guilty of purrjury.

Is it bad luck if a black cat follows you? That depends on whether you’re a man or a mouse.

Cats don’t care if you’re gay or straight.

Cats have the sense to eat only what’s good for them; dogs will try anything, then leave the mess for you to clean up.

The cat has 500 skeletal muscles (hoomans have 650).

Cat eyes come in three shapes:   round, slanted and almond.

Cats are the higher purpose of the universe.

Aren’t cats just little furry balls of love?

Kittens have baby teeth, which are replaced by permanent teeth around the age of 7 months.

Cats always: Bring the winter air inside, nestled in their coats.

Catwalk — A narrow walkway

Cats won’t complain if you don’t make the bed or do the dusting.

In a cats eye, all things belong to cats. — English Proverb

32% of those who own their own home, also own at least one cat.

Cat Philosophy — Let sleeping dogs lie — literally.

Cats must steal the roast pork out of mom’s fried rice bowl.

If your cat is running like a monkey over the furniture and sits on your shoulder like a parrot – then your cat is a Sphynx.

Cats, like butterflies, need no excuse. — Heinlein

How do you know that cats are sensitive creatures? They never cry over spilt milk.

What looks like half a cat? The other half.

Cats don’t need any excuses…

Curiosity killed the cat — Be cautious when investigating situations.

Cats must yowl during Dad’s bagpipe records.

Cats must sleep on Dad’s face & lick his nose while he tries to sleep.

Daddy’s privates and a cats springy cat toy are interchangeable.

When the cat’s away …. The house smells better.

You just may be a #catnut if: You believe there is no such thing as a naughty cat.

The Sphynx cat ranks seventh in popularity among the breeds recognized by the Cat Fanciers Association.

Pet supply stores sell bitter apple spray, which cats do not like and will generally avoid to keep them from unwanted areas.

Stray Cats that have their babies in the closet in our bedroom will not be allowed to pull our clothes from the hangers.

Hooman (n): Useful domestic animal popular with cats.

Toxicity in cats ingesting relatively large amounts of onions or garlic has also been reported.

The Sphynx cat will finish eating your ice cream, which was left without supervision.

Cats won’t smoke, drink or do drugs under peer pressure. Well, catnip doesn’t count.

A cats jaw has only up and down motion; it does not have any lateral, side to side motion, like dogs and hoomans.

Your cat loves you and can read your moods.  If you’re sad or under stress, you may also notice a difference in your cat’s behavior.

Cats are natural paper shreaders.

Cats must lurk under the bed and pounce on the unsuspecting hooman’s feet.

Dogs will wake you up if the house is on fire. Cats will quietly sneak out the back door.

Grinning like a cheshire cat — Displaying a silly grin

Cats must play in the toilet and get the seat wet so Mom will yell at Daddy.

Cats can jump 5 times their height.

Catlapse: The time between removal from a lap and waking

You just may be a #catnut if: Your personal motto is: You can never have enough cats.

Cats must chew the buttons off mom’s bathrobe.

Thank God cats don’t have opposable thumbs.

No time spent with a cat on your lap can be considered waste

All cats are right.

Cats always: Make our homes warmer.

Even if you tell jokes as well as Jay Leno, neither your cat nor your teen will ever crack a smile.

Cats must try to nibble the comb/brush when their Mom grooms them.

Bureaucat: A kitty who sleeps on your undies…

Cats always: Lick each others privates when the hoomans have guests over.

If cats and dogs can live together, why can’t men and women?

Cats must destroy a toy the first time they play with it.

Cats must try to dig to China from their litter box.

Contrary to popular belief, people are not allergic to cat fur, dander, saliva, or urine — they are allergic to the sebum.

The Sphynx cat has been vying for championship status by this world’s largest breed registry since 2002.

Female cats can have two to three litters per year, so may produce up to 150 kittens in their breeding span of around ten years.

Stray Cats will not be fed anything except dry cat food tossed on the ground, outside.

Feral cats are wild cats that are unfamiliar with humans and roam freely in urban or rural areas.

The largest known litter (with all surviving) was 14, that of a Persian in South Africa named Bluebell.

Cats must steal the scrub pad from the sink and drag it all over the house.

See which way the cat jumps — Wait and see what happens

The Sphynx cat known for their extroverted behavior display a high level of energy intelligence curiosity and affection for their owners.

Cats must use mom’s brand NEW overstuffed sectional as a giant scratching post.

The cat thinks she can type better than I can.

Cat Phrase: mow — Means: Snuggling is a good idea.

You just may be a #catnut if: You have to have an extra room built onto the kitchen to store the 9lives.

The first breeding pair of Siamese cats arrived in England in 1884.

I got rid of my husband. The cat was allergic.

Cat Philosophy — When in trouble, just purr and look cute.

Cats don’t care if you don’t wash the dishes tonight.

If you want the best seat in the house, move the cat.

Cat Self-Disipline: Quit while you’re winning ……

If string is ingested, it can become caught in the cat’s stomach or intestines, causing illness, or in extreme cases, death.

You just may be a #catnut if: you sleep in the same position all night because it annoys your cat when you move.

Taurine is an essential dietary requirement for feline health, since cats cannot synthesize the compound.

Cats must slurp fish food from the surface of the aquarium.

Cats always: Donate their services as alarm clocks.

He’s a few cats short of a litter.

Never feed your cat dog food. Cats need five times more protein than dogs do.

Cats need to sample the contents of every pot on the stove.

Like some other domesticated animals, cats have either a mutualistic or commensal relationship with hoomans.

Cats must have one of the freshly-baked cookies cooling on the table.

You may have seen a cat testing the size of an opening by careful measurement with the head.

There’s not enough room to swing a cat — The room is very cramped and crowded.

A lover of cats is called an Ailurophile.

Egyptians shaved their eyebrows as a sign of mourning when they lost a beloved cat.

God said Let there be cats.

Every dog has his day, but the nights belong to us cats.

It is strongly recommended that kittens are allowed to remain with mother for 10 weeks to permit natural training to take place.

Sweeten the kitty — Increase the amount

Catnip or Catmint — marijuana for cats.

The upper two rows of a Cats whiskers can move independently of the bottom two rows.

Singing to the cat on the other side of the front door is a good thing at 2 am.

Cat Note2self: If I put a live mouse in my food bowl, I should not expect it to stay there until I get hungry.

When a domestic cat goes after mice, about 1 pounce in 3 results in a catch.

A cat can be let out without supervision and will return when called.

Cat-eyed or cat eyes — Able to see in the dark

A cat will spend nearly 30% of her life grooming herself.

You’re probably a cat — If you can be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains.

Cat Phrase: Miioo-oo-oo — Means: I am in love and must meet my betrothed outside beneath the hedge. Don’t wait up.

If you would know a man, observe how he treats a cat.

Cats have true fur, in that they have both an undercoat and an outer coat.

Don’t pick a kitten or a cat up by the scruff of its neck;  only mother Cats can do this safely, and only with their kittens.

A cats purr is the sound of it generating mystery.

Indoor cats should be provided with a scratching post so that they are less likely to use carpet or furniture which they can easily ruin.

Cats select food based on its temperature, smell and texture, disliking chilled foods and responding strongly to foods rich in amino acids.

The Sphynx cat is regarded to be very robust with few health or genetic problems.

Choose your cat toys carefully. Choose light toys (for tossing), soft toys (for teeth/claws) and toys big enough they can’t be swallowed.

Cat Self-Disipline: Nap often ……

Cats must faithfully chase the cursor around the screen.

Cats must jump on the table to eat cantaloupe if no one gives them a piece.

Stray Cats allowed inside will not be permitted to jump up on or sharpen their claws on the furniture.

Hotter than a six peckered alley cat — A person of loose morals

Declawing a cat is the same as cutting a hooman’s fingers off at the knuckle.

Glamour puss — A glamorous lady

Hoomans: Creatures subservient to cats.

The male cat’s penis has a band of about 120-150 backwards-pointing spines, which are about 7 millimeters long.

Cats have not forgotten they were once worshipped.

Interestingly, someone who is allergic to one cat may not be allergic to another cat.

When a cat moves in and rubs your leg for the first time, this is the feline stamp of approval that you’ve passed initial inspection.

The best kind of cat toy has a person on one end.

Typos? Blame my cat.

After about 20 to 30 minutes. once the female cat is finished grooming, the mating cycle will repeat.

Cats must crawl into open suitcase to help Mom pack.

Between 4-5 weeks kittens are getting more robust. They are able to climb up your clothes in a cumbersome fashion.

Like a cat on a hot tin roof — Someone with frayed nerves; jumpy

A cat can see up to 120 feet away.   Their peripheral vision is about 285 degrees.

cats urine glows under a black light.

Cats don’t need therapy to undo their bad socialization.

Taurine is now a required ingredient in cat food products and should contain at least 0.1% dry food and 0.2% wet food.

What is a cat’s favorite movie? The Sound of Mewsic.

What do you use to comb a cat? A catacomb.

Politically Correct: The cat does not break things; she helps gravity do its job.

Cats must shred the newspaper while someone is reading it.

Go away, cat. You make me smile too much.

I smell a rat — Thinking there is something hidden or concealed

There are tiny, parasitic worms that can live in a cat’s stomach. These worms cause frequent vomiting.

The common painkiller paracetamol or acetaminophen, sold under brand names such as Tylenol and Panadol, is EXTREMLY toxic to cats.

Pussyfooting around — To tread or move warily or stealthily or to refrain from committing oneself

Cats must blame Mom when cat falls in a tub full of water.

Cat: You’re so gullible. — Lister

Cat Philosophy — Help with making dinner.

The name SPHYNX (cat) is often MIS-spelled as SPHINX which is the ancient Egyptian cat body w/ a hooman head.

The ASPCA warns owners to safeguard the more dangerous perches in their homes, to avoid high-rise syndrome (falls) in cats.

cats foot — To live under the cats foot is to allow someone to control you.

Cats must meow pitifully when their hoomans are having sex.

Catscan — a hi-tech device for examining cats.

Famous feral cat colonies are found in Rome around the Colosseum and Forum Romanum, with cats being fed and vetted by volunteers.

I am NOT a cat. I am — A treat-seeking missile.

Cat bumper sticker: Life is hard, then you nap.

Indoor cats will often retain their hunting instinct and deliver small household items to their owners, such as watches, pens, pencils, etc.

Cats must groom their private parts in front of company.

A cat is all love and energy…

Who knows the mind of a cat?

Catnip Research Has Not Kept Pace With Other Sciences.

Stray Cats will sleep in the house but not in the bedroom.

What do your husband and your cats have in common? … None of your cats lower the toilet seat either.

How do you spell mousetrap in just three letters? C-A-T.

The liver of a cat is less effective at some forms of detoxification than those of other animals, including hoomans and dogs.

People don’t own cats, cats own people.

Cats have five toes on each front paw, but only four toes on each back paw.

Cats do not like beer. Really.

A neutered male sheds much less than a non-neutered male.

There is no such thing as just a cat.

Cats must climb their hooman’s leg to get tuna fish or pancakes.

Don’t rely on feeding dry food as a dental care program — cats need to have their teeth cleaned by a vet.

Cat Philosophy — Never be discouraged by the words No, Stop That. or Bad Cat.

Weekly bathing will eliminate about 90% of the cat dander present in the home environment.

The Cat, stealthy, solitary, secretive and intelligent — said to possess nine lives — always prepared for the unexpected.

Calico Cats are almost always female.

Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.

The cats saliva is a powerful cleaning agent and deodorant.

Cats aren’t the only species — they just act like it.

How come our cat runs the house but pays no bills?

The cat seldom interferes with other people’s rights.

The silks created by weavers in Baghdad were inspired by the beautiful and varied colors and markings of cat coats.

The Sphynx cat always enjoys sitting in front of you and looking at you with a loving glance.

Cats must eat styrofoam meat trays and then barf up white bingies.

Cats must hack up a *huge* hairball on mom’s brand-new futon.

Cats have 30 teeth (12 incisors, 10 premolars, 4 canines, and 4 molars), while dogs have 42.

Me, Me, Me, Me, Me, Me, Me, Me, Me, Me, Me, Me, Me, Me, Me ……… The Cat

If a cats tail is erect with the whole length or tip quivering gently: The cat is showing affection.

You just may be a #catnut if: You set a place at the dinner table for your cat.

cats whisker — before diodes were invented, people made a kind of diode by touching a long thin wire against a germanium crystal.

You can tell a cat’s mood by looking into its eyes. An angry cat will have narrow pupils.

Cat Self-Disipline: Have moments of wild abandon ……

Cats must lick their hooman’s armpits while she is sleeping.

I am NOT a cat. I am — Living poetry.

Cat Phrase: gakk-ak-ak — Means: My digestive passages seem to have formed a hairball. Wherever could this have come from?

A cat is easier to train than a man

Dogma? I prefer Catma, they cost less to feed.

cats whiskers — Something considered to be outstanding

Cats aren’t clean, they’re just covered with cat spit.

A dog is a dog, but a cat is a purrson.

Dogs answer when called — Cats let the machine get it.

What is a cat’s favorite song? Three Blind Mice

What grade did the cat get on his test? He got a Purrrr-fect score.

Politically Correct: The cat does not gobble; she eats with alacrity.

A cat will do what it wants when it wants, and there’s not a thing you can do about it. — Frank Perkins

What time is it when 12 cats chase a mouse? 12 after 1.

You just may be a #catnut if: you buy a DVD of fish swimming in an aquarium to entertain your cat

Cats come back to full alertness from the sleep state faster than any other creature.

The Sphynx cat loves scrithes under the jaw.

At 5-7 weeks is time to introduce the kittens to the litter box.

I am NOT a cat. I am — A furry keyboard cover.

Cat philosophy: I am, therefore give me tuna.

A common practice is to use a laser pointer to draw the cat to a prepositioned toy so the cat gets a reward at the end of the chase.

What is a cat’s favorite party game? Mews-ical chairs.

Some cats can be trained to walk outside with a leash and harness or collar.

A cat is the universe’s way of showing us purr-fection.

I have a watch cat. Just break in and she’ll watch.

Cats must lick mom’s eyes while she is trying to sleep.

I’m busier than a cat in a Litter Box…

Stray Cats will not be fed anything except dry cat food moistened with warm milk, yummy treats and leftover fish scraps.

People who are allergic to cats are actually allergic to cat saliva or to cat dander.

You don’t have to worry about the cat leaving the toilet seat up.

A flashlight makes a great cat toy. Turn the flashlight on in a dark room, and watch your feline chase the beam of light.

The black animal with white stripes is a plaything.

Cats are natural contortionists. Their forelegs turn in almost any direction and both halves of their body can move in opposing directions.

If cats do get pregnant, you can sell their kids.

Cats must put their tail/paws in places where they can be stepped on.

Cat Phrase: Mraakk. — Oh, small bird. Please come over here.

Cats don’t require milk formulas. Your grocery bill won’t give you a headache.

Cat Phrase: mowww. — I was enjoying snuggling and shedding in the warm clean laundry until you removed me so unkindly.

You just may be a #catnut if: You ask the Pizza delivery guy if he has time to drop a few cats off by the groomers on his way back.

The Sphynx cat is actually covered with a very fine downy coat, but the hairless look is accentuated by the lack of whiskers or eyelashes.

Choosy cats prefer Microsoft mice, 10 to 1

The cat’s the only cat who knows where it’s at.

The first cat show was held in 1895 at Madison Square Garden in New York City, New York.

How do cats eat spaghetti? The same as everyone else — they put it in their mouths.

The Sphynx cat has the wisdom of the ages written in their souls.

A cats gestation period is between 61 — 70 days.

Kittens begin to walk at around 20 days old.

Cats must head butt the control pad/joystick when the hooman is 10 seconds away from winning.

Cats must reset their hooman’s alarm clock by walking on it.

The cat ate cheese and waited by mousehole with baited breath.

A female cat with two X chromosomes may have orange and black colors in its coat.

What is a cat’s favorite subject in school? …. HISSSStory.

You’re not a real person until you’re ignored by a cat.

Stroking a cat can help to relieve stress, and the feel of a purring cat on your lap conveys a strong sense of security and comfort.

You just may be a #catnut if: You ask the Pizza delivery guy if he can drop a few of the cats at the vet on his way back.

There’s no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast.

Politically Correct: The cat is not a bed hog; he is a mattress appreciator.

Application of minoxidil (Rogaine) to the skin of cats, either accidentally or by well-meaning owners, has sometimes been fatal.

To understand a cat, you must realize that he has has own gifts, his own viewpoint, even his own morality. — Lilian Jackson Braun

When sharing a bed, cats need the three-quarters nearest the wall.

If a cats tail is straight up and fully bristled: The cat is showing aggression (toward another cat).

If a cats tail is curved gently downward, then curved up again at the tip: The cat is relaxed and comfortable.

Cat Phrase: mrooww — Means: I love you.

Cats must steal Mom’s Cheetos and leave them all licked but not eaten on her bed.

Spaying a female before her first or second heat will greatly reduce the threat of mammary cancer and uterine disease.

The Sphynx cat look is always UNMISTAKABLE.

The life expectancy of cats has nearly doubled since 1930 — from 8 to 16 years.

Cats always: have to be the center of attention.

Cat look #1: You might *think* it’s your chair but …..

Three to four weeks old is when the kittens will start to explore their world.

Stray Cats will not be allowed inside the house except at certain times, maybe holidays.

Do Cheshire cats drink evaporated milk?

The nose pad of a cat is ridged in a pattern that is unique, just like the fingerprint of a hooman.

Cats are mysterious kind of folk — there is more passing in their minds than we are aware of. — Sir Walter Scott

Of all the current breeds of cats, the two that have the strongest claim of original domestic cat are the Egyptian Mau and the Abyssinian.

Cats are companions. Dogs are slaves.

You’re probably a cat — If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles.

It’s 11:00pm…do you know what your cats are shredding?

The cat’s front paws have 5 toes & their back paws have 4.

Cat Phrase: miaowbu  — Means: Feed me.

Cats must lie down with their butt in the hooman’s face.

You just may be a #catnut if: People at work have stopped offering you their lint brushes bacause they realize it’s hopeless anyway.

Stray Cats that are already pregnant will sleep in a specially prepared box.

Cat Philosophy — Always give generously; a bird or rodent left on the bed tells them, I care.

The gene in cats that causes the orange coat color is sexed linked, and is on the X sex chromosome. This gene may display orange or black

Nose-touching is a common greeting usually followed by social grooming, which is solicited by one of the cats raising and tilting its head.

Hellcat — A bad-tempered woman

Cats know licking or batting the empty food dish around will make food appear.

Cats must beg for food until they have eaten what already in their dish.

Cats always: Give us cool cartoon characters.

What do baby cats wear? Dia-purrs.

The absence of taurine causes a cat’s retina to slowly degenerate, causing eye problems and (eventually) irreversible blindness.

Meow culpa. — Something you’ll never hear from a cat.

Cats must display their worm collection on the kitchen floor on a rainy night.

What is a cat’s favorite color? Purrrrrrrple.

In an average year, American cat owners spend $2.15 billion on cat food and $295 million on kitty litter.

A collar and tag can help your cat find his way home should he ever be lost. BETTER = electronic ID chip

You’re probably a cat — If you can overlook when people take things out on you when, through no fault of yours, something goes wrong.

Cats must use the keyboard as a springboard trying to catch the pretty flashing cursor.

Cats always: Warm our laps.

If a cats tail is fully erect and the tip is vertical: The cat is offering a friendly, cheerful greeting.

What do you call a loving cat bite? Cat nip.

Cats must lie on their hooman’s girlfriend’s chest with their butt in her face.

What’s the unluckiest kind of cat to have? A catastrophe.

A group of cats is called a clowder.

The Sphynx cat from time to time talks to you and touches you with his/her paw or nose.

Dogs will bring you your slippers. Cats will drop a dead mouse in your slippers.

Cats know cats will get some hooman food if patient.

The color of a kitten’s eyes will change as it grows older.

The position of the quick can be easily seen through the translucent nail of a cat with light colored claws but not with dark ones.

At their fastest, cats can run at 30mph.

Perching on heights, give cats a sense of security.

A cat is a four footed allergen.

The cat was created when the lion sneezed.

Cats must lick the faucet to encourage their hooman to turn on the drinking water.

A cat has a total of 24 whiskers, 4 rows of whiskers on each side. The upper two rows can move independently of the bottom two rows.

The cat is the only animal which accepts the comforts but rejects the bondage of domesticity. — Georges Louis Leclerc de Buffon

What is a favorite cat tale? The Tortoiseshell and the Hair.

Cats never: Want to go to the mall.

Taurine deficiency can cause macular degeneration where the cat’s retina slowly degenerates, causing irreversible blindness.

Cat Self-Disipline: View things from more than one perspective ……

Cats do not read at the table, or cut out the coupons before you’ve read that page.

Cats must play with the ribbons when Mom is wrapping Christmas gifts.

The Sphynx cat is nicknamed the Love Mooch for their devotion to their hoomans.

Time spent with cats is never wasted.

An idiom attributed to Ben Franklin in Poor Richard’s Almanac

You just may be a #catnut if: You have the cat meow on the outgoing message of the answering machine.

A cats purr is the rumble of peace in the animal kingdom.

Cats always: Keep mice on the run.

Between 4-5 weeks kittens vision is now good and the cloudiness has gone from their eyes.

I am Cat of Borg. We will assimilate your shiny things.

The man who carries a cat by the tail learns something that can be learned in no other way. — Mark Twain

Cats understand if some of their friends cannot come inside.

Cats fondness for high spaces can dangerously test the reflex to right themselves when they fall.

There are two species of wild Cats in African and Europe that still hunt.  These two species both resemble the domestic tabbies.

Felicity: A town inhabited by happy cats.

You just may be a #catnut if: You ask the Pizza delivery guy if he has time to make a 9lives run for you.

That was a pointing device? My cat thought it was dinner.

The Sphynx cat is highly intelligent, very curious, playful and mischievous.

You just may be a #catnut if: You meow so well, you confuse the cats.

The behaviors shown by most house Cats have a parallel in the wild.

In Siam, the cat was so revered that one rode in a chariot at the head of a parade celebrating the new king.

A cats purr: Most effective stress medicine known.

Cats must play the game tiger attack when Mom is weeding the garden.

Cats and teenagers do not improve anyone’s furniture.

Stray Cats that have their babies on our best evening gown will have to live with that on their conscience forever.

Politically Correct: The cat does not scratch; he is a furniture/rug/skin ventilator.

What happened when the cat ate a ball of wool? She had mittens.

Cat Philosophy — Don’t worry about little things.

Cats always: Bring about mysterious and secretive behavior.

Why do tomcats fight? Because they like raising a stink.

CAT RULE #4: Reserve hairballs for shag carpets

The average litter of kittens is between 2 — 6 kittens.

You just may be a #catnut if: You save $938.43 by buying 9lives on sale at ten cents off per bag.

You just may be a #catnut if: You accidentally call your spouse by your cat’s name.

Heaven will not ever Heaven be, unless my cats are there to welcome me.

Dogs see God in their owner. Cats see God in a mirror.

You just may be a #catnut if: Your house feels bare if the furniture is not covered in cat hair.

When a cat drinks, its tongue — which has tiny barbs on it — scoops the liquid up backwards.

How is cat food sold? Usually purr can.

Cats respond most readily to names that end in an ee sound.

Cats must use the garage roof as a litter box.

Playing cat and mouse — Playing a game of strategy and stealth, or playing in a cruel or teasing way.

Cat food doesn’t need to be cooked. So you can simply order Chinese food for yourself and pour out some kibbles for them.

If a cat is frightened, put your hand over its eyes and forehead, or let him bury his head in your armpit to help calm him.

Cats must stick their paws under the bathroom door when it is closed and snag anything.

Cats must stomp on the stereo remote and increase the sound level to 120 decibels.

Weak as a kitten — Very weak, ineffective, fragile. In the early 1800s the expression was weak as a cat

Cats must jump off the top of the cat tree onto the bed and/or its occupants.

Purrrvey: The sound made by an overwrought Jewish cat.

If evolution were a fact then cats would use can openers.

You just may be a #catnut if: You have a set of towels with his hers and kitty’s on them.

Garfield prefers Mice Krispies for breakfast.

Cats must crawl into the dishwasher when it is full of clean dishes.

The Sphynx cat is some of the most delightful and lovable cats ever to appear in the UNIVERSE.

What is another name for a cat’s home? A scratch pad.

Cat Game #7: Hide inside the smallest space.

Cat Philosophy — Never sleep alone.

I am NOT a cat. I am — A Walking ego with fur.

A domestic cat can sprint at about 31 miles per hour.

Cats always: Lift our spirits.

If your cat finishes eating your ice cream, which was left without supervision — the your cat is a Sphynx.

The cat cannot produce the amino acid taurine, which is neccessary for proper vision health.

After a hard day, it’s nice to come home to a warm cat.

Why did a person with an unspayed female cat have to go to court? For kitty littering.

Cats must perform plastic surgery with their claws upon their mom’s face.

What does a cat that lives near the beach have in common with Christmas? Sandy Claws.

A dog knows when you’re sad. And he’ll try to comfort you. Cats don’t care how you feel, as long as you remember where the can opener is.

A cat would be man’s best friend, but never stoops to it.

Cats play quietly. You don’t have to remind them every single minute to keep the noise down.

You just may be a #catnut if: You call home when you are away and leave a message on the answering machine for your cat.

What do you call a hairy ruler with an attitude? …. A cat.

Cat Philosophy — Make the world your playground.

The cat is domestic only as far as it suits its own ends.

What is a cat’s favorite subject in school? HISStory.

A cat is pregnant for about 58-65 days. This is roughly two months.

The normal body temperature of a cat is 102 degrees F.

C:pet C:petcat C:petcatignorehooman

Cat Self-Disipline: Overstep boundaries ……

Cat Self-Disipline: Fake what you don’t know ……

Siamese kittens are born white because of the heat inside the mother’s uterus before birth that keeps the hair from darkening on the points.

You just may be a #catnut if: You ask the Pizza delivery place if they can add an order of cat litter on the side.

As much chance as a wax cat in hell — There is no chance at all.

So how to win a cats approval? First of all, don’t try too hard. Don’t run up to a cat and furiously stroke its neck or try to pick it up.

Cats have nine lives. Teenagers carry on as if they did.

Because of their small size, domesticated house cats pose little physical danger to adult hoomans.

Cats don’t care about the price of eggs in China.

You don’t have to worry that your cat will do drugs or join a gang.

If your cat refuses your tap water, it may be sensing (with it’s superior sense of smell) the chlorine or other minerals in your water.

You just may be a #catnut if: You have 2 cabinets full of hooman food and 11 full of 9lives.

This tagline guarded by attack cat.

Cats must unroll all the toilet paper off the roll.

Cats must fart in front of mom’s friends. Nobody ever believes it is the cat.

Spaying and nuetering cats prevents undesirable behavior, such as territory marking or spraying in males and yowling in females.

At 5-7 weeks kittens will be very playful, jumping up and down, batting their litter mates and general chasing and pouncing each other.

You just may be a #catnut if: Your spouse says, me or the cat., and therewas no hesitation.

Cat kat n; small, four-legged, fur-bearing extortionist

Cats don’t step on the imaginary brake.

Multiple males will be attracted to a female cat in heat. The males will fight over her, and the victor wins the right to mate.

Cats can be surgically sterilized (spayed or castrated) as early as 7 weeks to limit unwanted reproduction.

You look like you’ve been in a fight with a wild cat.

A shy, quiet cat is well suited as a companion to a cat who demands a lot of attention.

Cats don’t care what religion you are.

Cats: Good for dusting high places.

cats aren’t clean, they’re just covered with cat spit.

Purrinoia:  fear that the cat is up to something.

How long does it take a dog to read a novel? …. FOREVER … they can’t read MOL.

A cat sees about 6 times better than a hooman at night, and needs 1/6 the amount of of light that a hooman does.

Never give your cat aspirin unless specifically prescribed by your veterinarian; it can be fatal.

Cats must leap from great heights on to their seated hooman’s genital region.

Cats don’t see detail very well.  To them, their person may appear hazy when standing in front of them.

For man to truly understand rejection, he must first be ignored by a cat . …..

Stray Cats will not play on the desk near the computer.

Cats don’t complain. They are the masters of cool.

I am NOT a cat. I am — Can opener radar.

What do you call a God with attitude? …. A cat.

Cats fur expands to fill all available drives.

A cat could be man’s best friend, but never stoops to it.

You just may be a #catnut if: You buy more than 200 pounds of 9lives per month.

Cat: An attitude in fur.

Cats don’t have problems expressing affection in public.

Another breed of cat — something different from anything else

Cats never: Leave cut whiskers in the sink.

Cats *are* the higher purpose of the universe.

Can anything be smarter than a cat that can count? Yes, a spelling bee.

The Sphynx cat character from the Austin Powers movies was portrayed by two Sphynx named Ted Nude-gent and Mel Gibskin.

During her productive life, one female cat could have more than 100 kittens.

How does a cat sing scales? Do-ri-me-ow.

Cats (almost) always hit the litterbox.

In a lifetime, the average cat sheds 14.95 lbs. of fur.

Cats must ride on the string mop while Mom is cleaning the floor.

Cat: Ethereal music wreathed in mystery.

Cats don’t keep harping you with stupid questions. They won’t keep asking you why? at the most inconvenient times.

Neither teenagers nor Cats turn their heads when you call them by name.

Cats won’t ask you if they can go see a concert of that rock band you’re sure are cannibals.

You just may be a #catnut if: Your neighbors refer to you as the crazy one with all the cats.

Door: Something a cat wants to be on the other side of.

Cats must try to climb on the hooman’s lap when he/she is using the laptop computer.

Cats are more active during the evening hours.

Cat Philosophy — Regard all neatly stacked piles of paper as provocation.

My cat walks all over me. :* :* :* :*

Cats are so marvelously true to themselves.

Cats can get tapeworms from eating mice. If your cat catches a mouse it is best to take the prize away from it.

Cats always: Make us smile.

Cat Phrase: mioawmioaw — Means: I shall see what happens when I sharpen my claws on this handy piece of furniture.

I am NOT a cat. I am — A companion in grace, beauty, mystery, and curiousity.

Cats must knock over the stacks of CDs.

You just may be a #catnut if: You have to rent a trailer for the mobile home to hold the 9lives for the road trips.

I wish I could write as mysterious as a cat. — Edgar Allan Poe

Catcalls — Booing bad acting

Cats must chew on the antennae of the cordless phone.

You just may be a #catnut if: You never go to the door unless it’s to let a cat out.

Cat fur expands to fill all available drives.

Dead cat on the line — Something suspicious or ‘fishy’ is going on

An average cat has 1-8 kittens per litter, and 2-3 litters per year.

Cats never: Cause you auto insurance to go up.

High as the hair on a cats back — Very expensive

A cat named Kitty gave birth to 2 kittens at the age of 30, having given birth to a documented 218 kittens in her lifetime.

Cats must play with their new rubber ball in the bathtub at 3 am.

There are many intelligent species in the universe. They are all owned by cats.

Cats breathe at a rate of 20 — 30 breaths per minute.

Home of the Superconducting Kitty Collider.

Cats always: Help reduce high blood pressure.

What kind of Cat purrs the best? Purrrrr-sians.

A meow massages the heart. — Stuart McMillan

A form of AIDS exists in cats.

Cats are easier to train than kids.

Cats must have urine wars with the new cat in the house on the kitchen counter.

Cat: Murphy’s way of saying Nice Furniture.

What do cats like best on a hot day? Mice cream.

Cats can see up to 120 feet away. Their peripheral vision is about 285 degrees.

A Cats eyes have a layer of extra reflecting cells which absorb light.

Cats must tear into the bag of cat food just to see if it the same as what is in their dish.

Stray Cats are forbidden to walk on the computer keyboard on the desk when the hooman is ‘;lkjijn  huhgtgv  ffdsa  trying to use it.

25% of cat owners blow dry their Cats hair after a bath.

Cats aren’t threatened if you earn more than they do.

I’m the boss. … My cat said so..

Cat Self-Disipline: Act nonchalant ……

The Sphynx cat body feels like warm Chamois leather.

You can keep a dog; but it is the cat who keeps people, because cats find humans useful domestic animals. — George Mikes

Cat Phrase: Mreoaw — Please ask room service to send up another can of tunafish.

The cat’s front paw has 5 toes and the back paws have 4. Cats born with 6 or 7 front toes and extra back toes are called polydactyl

Cats must lie directly behind their hooman when she is putting on her makeup.

Cats must use their female hooman’s chest as a springboard.

You just may be a #catnut if: You and kitty have matching outfits.

Taurine, necessary for cats eyesite, is found naturally in seafood and meats.

If a female cat and her tail is held to one side, and she is crouched or with her rump in the air: This female cat is ready to mate.

Ailurophilia is the love of cats

The first formal cat show was held in England in 1871; in America, in 1895.

Cats eyes come in three shapes: round, slanted and almond.

You don’t have to live in fear that the cat will hit you.

Cat got your tongue — Why aren’t you talking?

What did one cat say to another? Have you heard the mews today.

Cats are superfecund; that is, a female may mate with more than one male when she is in heat.

The domestic cat seems to have greater confidence in itself than in anyone else. — Lawrence N. Johnson

CATaLYST n. an alphabetical list of cats.

Mice Krispies — The breakfast of champions.

Clowder of cats — a group of cats

Dead cat bounce — An automatic recovery in a financial market.

Scratching posts made of sisal rope or corrugated cardboard are also commonly in use.

You’re probably a cat — If you can understand when loved ones are too busy to give you time.

Cat Philosophy — Make friends with the milkman.

Under normal circumstances a kitten should never be taken from its mother until they are at least 8 weeks old. Preferably

Cats must pull dirty socks out of the laundry basket and leave them on their Mom’s pillow.

You just may be a #catnut if: You save $825.30 by buying cat litter on sale at ten cents off per bag.

What is a cat’s way of keeping law & order? Claw Enforcement.

Cat Philosophy — Treat yourself to a nap in the sock drawer once in a while.

The Sphynx cat breed traces its origins to 1966 in Toronto, Canada when a domestic cat gave birth to a hairless kitten.

Cats are easier to train than most children.

The poor cat in the rain look. It never fails.

What is a French cat’s favorite pudding? Chocolate mouse.

Cats must eat mom’s make up.

And why _did_ cats decide to become domestic animals?

There are several alternatives to a complete declawing, including trimming or a less radical surgery to remove the claws.

CAT: (n) Walking ego with fur.

Cat Self-Disipline: Understand hooman limitations ……

I can’t use Windows. My cat ate my mouse.

Tabby — A domestic cat with a striped and mottled coat

A cat diet lacking arginine causes marked weight loss and can be rapidly fatal.

A cat is only domestic in so far as suits its own needs.

You just may be a #catnut if: You think cat fur makes a wonderful garnish to any meal.

Cat Phrase: Roww-maww-roww — Means: I am so glad to see that you have returned home with both arms full of groceries.

It took my cat a month to fully train me.

Cat Note2self: My hooman will notice if I start eating her sandwich from the other end.

One poorly understood element of cat hunting behavior is the presentation of prey to hooman owners.

Cat Self-Disipline: Play with your food ……

Longhaired cats are more prone to hairballs than shorthaired cats.

I fed some lemon to my cat and now I have a sour puss.

Cat Philosophy — Play and sleep in cardboard boxes.

Cats can be spayed or neutered so you never have to worry about them getting pregnant.

What’s happening when you hear woof… splat… meow… splat? It’s raining cats and dogs.

Cats must claim the cream cheese and lox bagel on the kitchen table as their own.

The male cat usually reaches sexual maturity between 9 and 12 months.

Cats never: Leave the toilet seat up.

What is the cat’s favorite magazine? Good Mousekeeping.

Cats open their eyes after five days and begin to develop their eyesight and hearing at approximately 2 weeks.

After mating, the female cat will wash her vulva thoroughly. If a male attempts to breed with her at this point, the female will attack him.

Cats must hook a claw into mom’s nostril to wake her up on weekends.

A Sociable Cat will follow you from room to room to monitor your activities throughout the day.

Outrageous. Does your cat put YOU out at night?

Stray Cats will sleep in the garage.

No cat or teenager shares you taste in music.

Cats must steal the olives/mushrooms/cheese off the hooman’s pizza.

You just may be a #catnut if: You plan your vacation around the cat show schedule.

Cat bites are more likely to become infected than dog bites.

Many cats cannot resist a dangling piece of string, or a piece of rope drawn randomly and enticingly across the floor.

Cats must interfere with the broom when their hooman is sweeping the floor.

Cats allow man the pleasure of caressing the tiger.

Cat o’nine tails — A whip

Cats perspire through their paws.

A kitten will typically weigh about 3 ounces at birth.

Dogs answer when called — Cats take a message and get back to you.

Hmmmmm …. Why cant dogs serve me the same as those hoomans do ….

Politically Correct: The cat is not a shedding machine; she is a hair relocation stylist.

Cats must help their sister recycle her barfed-up food.

Stray Cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed.

What does a cat like to eat on a hot day? A mice cream cone.

Cats have to beg for an ice cube everytime someone opens the freezer door.

Cat Self-Disipline: Explore ……

Cats Know Their Rights.

Where does a cat go when it loses its tail? The retail store.

With a very high protein requirement few feral cats find adequate nutrition on their own in cities.

What is the difference between a cat and a comma? One has the paws before the claws and the other has the clause before the pause.

Cats must climb into their Daddy’s dropped boxers while he is sitting on the toilet.

Cats must attack Mom and Daddy’s feet while they’re making whoopee.

The Sphynx cat needs a bath at least once per week or more often if neccessary.

God made the cat in order that humankind might have the pleasure of caressing the tiger. — Fernand Mery

Cats must spray the kitchen garbage can.

You’re probably a cat — If you can take criticism and blame without resentment.

Cat: Animal that proves eating and sleeping is not ALL bad

Cats must slurp the hooman’s iced tea, whether she’s looking or not.

At first, the female cat will reject the male, but eventually the female will allow the male to mate.

The domestic cat is the only species able to hold its tail vertically while walking.

Cats eat grass to aid their digestion and to help them get rid of any fur in their stomachs.

Cats must hide Grandma’s $35 prescription eyedrops.

The cat is the only domesticated animal NOT mentioned in the bible.

Cat Note2self: It is not a good idea to try to lap up the powdered creamer before it all dissolves in the boiling coffee.

You just may be a #catnut if: you kiss your cat on the lips.

Stray Cats that are petted, played with, picked up and cuddled will absolutely not be given a name.

Hoomans need fresh, wiggling gecko tails deposited on or in the bed at 3 am.

One cat just leads to another.

Cats must eat all of mom’s plants and then barf them up while Mom is not home.

Cat Game #1: Hah — made you look.

Sitting in the cat bird seat — Being in an advantageous position

In Finland it was thought that black cats were thought to carry the souls of the dead to the other world.

Cats must stick their tail in the little hooman’s lollipop.

Cats are unusually dependent on a constant supply of the amino acid arginine.

More than 35,000 kittens are born in the U.S. each year.  Spay or neuter your cat.

If your cat misses one meal, a trip to the vet may be necessary.

Cats must play attack cat in the middle of the night when Mom moves in her sleep.

Sir Isaac Newton, discoverer of the principles of gravity, also invented the cat door.

The Sphynx cat has a pixie face, giant batty ears, potbelly and wrinkled skin nearly void of any hair.

Cats, especially older cats, do get cancer. Many times this disease can be treated successfully.

Catty remarks — Comments made by a woman, usually about another woman

German folklore believed that if a black cat jumped on the bed of a sick person it meant death was near.

The pupil size is related as much to the cat’s emotions as to the degree of light.

Cats are generally more active during the evening hours.

I am NOT a cat. I am — An un-programmable animal.

Cats must climb on top of the fridge and knock the magnets off the front.

An adult cat has 32 teeth.

PURRRR if you love cats.

Cats always: Raise our spirits.

The Sphynx cat was originally a spontaneous mutation.

A domestic cats sense of smell is about fourteen times as strong as a hooman’s.

It was discovered in 1987 that taurine deficiency can cause feline dilated cardiomyopathy.

What does a cat do when it gets mad? It has a hissy fit.

Cats must jump on the furniture refinishing project.

Cat Phrase: ssssRoww — I believe that I have found a woodchuck or similar small animal.  I shall now act terribly brave.

Cats are an alarm clock and are obligated to wake the hoomans.

God bless us cat lovers.

Cats don’t sleep in their own pee and poo. My cats won’t even step in their litter box if you forget to clean it regularly.

Cats must wake Mom up in the morning by dropping a coffee maker on her head.

Be sure to keep anti-freeze away from all animals — it’s sweet and enticing, but deadly poison.

Cat Philosophy — Learn the difference between idleness and repose: one wastes time, the other luxuriates in it.

If a kitten has strayed from the litter or is hungry a tiny squeak from the kitten alerts the mother to the kittens needs.

Politically Correct: The cat does not barf hairballs; he is a floor/rug redecorator.

As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat.

Bathed the cat — took HOURS to get the hair off my tongue.

Cats must sleep on their hooman’s freshly washed and waxed car.

It has been suggested that cats may be particularly sensitive to environmental pollutants.

Leash training a cat is usually the most successful with cats whose owners start training them at an early age.

A kitten is chiefly remarkable for rushing about like mad at nothing whatever and generally stopping before it gets there — Agnes Repplier

Cats must knock the brush Mom uses on me into the garbage can just because.

When you come home from work, your dog will be happy and lick your face. Cats will still be mad at you for leaving in the first place.

I would gladly change places with any of my cats — George Ney

Cats must sit on the newspaper while Daddy reads it in the bathroom.

Cats and kittens should be acquired in pairs whenever possible as cat families interact best in pairs.

Cats *can* wait until after 6:00am to be fed on the weekends.

You just may be a #catnut if: You get a discount on 9lives by buying it by the pallet.

Cats mean it when they kiss you.

According to a Gallup poll, most American pet owners obtain their cats by adopting strays.

A cat can go to the bathroom alone.  Dogs need an escort.

Rub someone’s fur the wrong way — To irritate or upset someone

Cats always: Remind us that life is mysterious.

What did the mouse say when the cat bit his tail? That’s the end of me.

If you yell at a cat, you’re the one who is making a fool of yourself.

Cats lack a true collarbone. Because of this lack, cats can generally squeeze their bodies through any space they can get their heads through.

Cats must teach the parrot to meow in a loud and raucous manner.

Both hoomans and cats have identical regions in the brain responsible for emotion.

What is the name of the unauthorized autobiography of the cat? Hiss and Tell.

Kittens eyes usually open between 7 and 10 days, but sometimes it happens in as little as 2 days.

Cats must act like they are dying of hunger in front of Daddy.

Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will pee on your computer

Cats always: Are easier to train than children.

The female cat reaches sexual maturity within 6 to 10 months; most veterinarians suggest spaying the female at 5 months.

You just may be a #catnut if: You bore the neighbors with discussions on the exact nutritional differences between 9lives and amore.

When you take them for a ride, dogs will sit on the seat next to you. Cats have to have their own private basket, or they won’t go at all.

Cats must jump on the toilet seat just as their hooman is sitting down.

Cats usually have 12 whiskers on each side of it’s nose.

A cat with a mellow personality will usually have no trouble accepting an outgoing cat as an addition to the household.

Cats won’t ask you for money.

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.

Stray Cats will not be fed anything except dry cat food moistened with a little milk in a spare margarine container.

Cats must lie on clean laundry just after its been folded.

Cats have 290 bones in their bodies, and 517 muscles.

Cats are NOT clean. Would you bathe in spit?

Many cats also enjoy grooming hoomans or other cats.

In China it is thought the presence of a black cat foretold of poverty.

If your cat pushes his face against your head, it is a sign of acceptance and affection.

You’re probably a cat — If you can face the world without lies and deceit.

When kittens feed they can take as long as eight hours in one feeding session.

A domestic cat can run at speeds of 30 mph.

Milk can actually give some cats diarrhea.

Like herding cats — An effort that will likely be futile or at least very, very difficult to accomplish.

Why happened when the cat swallowed a coin? There was some money in the kitty.

When the cat threatens or is ready to attack, the hair stands up only in a narrow band along the spine and tail.

The cat types of body language: position of ears and tail, relaxation of whole body, kneading of paws, all are indicators of mood.

Cat Philosophy — When you are hungry, meow loudly so they feed you just to shut you up.

The Sphynx cat skin dispenses natural oils that are usually absorbed by other cats hair.

Cats must drag their butt on the carpet after exiting the litter box.

Cats have purrrrsonality. =^..^=

Cats won’t drink beer and pass out on the bathroom floor.

Cat Self-Disipline: Make friends with your neighbors ……

Cats must jump into the chair after their hooman gets up to do something.

A cat can rotate its ears independently 180 degrees and can turn in the direction of sound 10 times faster than those of the best watchdog.

Science asks How? Philosophy asks Why? Cats could care less.

Cat Note2self: Screaming at the can of food will not make it open itself.

Two cats are a circus, three a coup, six a revolution.

It has been scientifically proven that stroking a cat can lower one’s blood pressure.

Cats always: Create a kindred feeling with other cat people.

Cats must knock things off the coffee table so they can lie down more comfortably.

Cats must hold the pen in their mouth while their hooman is trying to write.

Cats with long, lean bodies are more likely to be outgoing, and more protective and vocal than those with a stocky build.

As nervous as a cat in a room full of rocking chairs — Someone with frayed nerves; jumpy

Cat Philosophy — Nap often.

One cat just leads to another. — Ernest Hemingway

In an average year, cat owners in the United States spend over $2 billion on cat food.

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